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Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Time Traveller

I am a time voyager...I travel almost every day, researching family lines. The past..why do I search? Perhaps it holds truths to the present and future. I wonder about the people that ate off the antique plates and stirred with the spoons that are stored in my cupboards ~I wonder about the lips that have touched the glasses and cups that I use every day~ I strain to listen, hoping to catch a faint ghostly uttering of what was discussed over the mashed potatoes and gravy boat so long ago. I wonder if the creak I hear in this old chair is the same creak my great grandmother heard under her long, black skirt or if she found the tick tock of her old kitchen mantel clock as soothing as I do. I wonder about how it felt to live in that big old farmhouse when it was first built and I realize that nothing in these old trunks smelled musty when they were newly tucked away. It makes me long for the past~ to briefly be in the presence of my ancestors~just for a little while to get the feel of their lives. Did they ever wonder about me? I feel I know them~I stare at their photos, I lie awake at night and imagine them moving about in their daily lives. I search through old photos and hope that I will perhaps someday have a revelation about the identity of the nameless faces that have been kept boxed for over 100 years. Many long hours are spent endlessly researching with cousins and newly found friends as we passionately seek the secrets of our family ties..some things we find we just keep to ourselves...too complicated to tell the others~too hurtful to tell some~relationships too overwhelmingly complex to share in a short email with relatives that just don't have the time to take it all in. And then there are some stories that are just truly myths, but have been so believed for so long that we will never have the heart to dispel. Yes, I travel to the past in my mind.

1 comment:

nadine paduart said...

this is what i appreciate so much about your way of living: your heartfelt connection to all other humans. it is what i felt and noticed when i first came across your time conquest, because this is also how it feels.
rest assured. i think i know what you mean. sentiment is a fickle thing, but above all, so downeartily human.
so, kims.
how are you, love?
n♥