Tuesday, July 29, 2014

My Summer Reading List Wish

I can't remember last year's summer.  The winter took on toll on my memory...selective memory is not what I would call it...just too much winter that snowed out the warm remembrances.  This summer it is cool...cooler than it has been since 1883, before my grandparents were even born...so the weatherman recounts.  I should be walking during my lunch breaks, but I miss reading.  A few summers ago I had lots of time off...not by my wishes, but I did fill those long hours with reading everything I could find.  This year, guilty of not taking my healthful walks, I have decided to exercise my brain with classic books and tales from children's literature.  I found scads of books adapted for children of reading and understanding age at a department store in the dollar section.  Perfect luncheon reading at an affordable price.  I didn't realize until I delved into two of the books that I either hadn't really read them as a child, although they were on the shelf, or that I did not really read them completely through.  What insight these authors had of the social psyche, the proper way to show kindness and consideration of friendship versus anger and greed and jealousy.  Very inspiring to me at my age and oh so impressive to young people.  I do hope young people still read books...good books, books that make them think and understand the world. Not the hyped media world.
 I will keep these books for my granddaughter so that she will read them and be impressed on being a kind, thoughtful, intelligent person.  This is my Summer Reading Wish.  

Friday, July 18, 2014

Today is such a pleasant day to sit in the swing outside and read and take a nap and feed my squirrels who are scampering all about. The sunlight is filtering through the overcast sky and I enjoy feeding my little furry friends. They usually take the peanut out of my hand but since I wanted to nap, I put a pile of peanuts on the ground for them. I dozed and had a wonderful dream of being in another country..somewhere in the world...and sitting down to dine with great companions and an interpreter, whom I don't know in life but I did in the dream and just as the dream was really getting good, I was awakened by a squirrel jumping on my lap! I guess the pile of peanuts ran out.
uts ran out.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Summer is here.  I think I can finally take my gloves and ear muffs out of my bag that I carry every day now.  It was touch and go for awhile, here in Mid Indiana.  Just a couple Mondays ago it got cold again. Cold to me is 60 degrees.  I have noticed lots of songs on the radio about Summer the past two days..new songs...strolling songs.  That must signify people are ready for summer if they are putting songs about summer on new music albums.  Summer inspires me to just sit in the swing outside and read the weekend away.  I have a habit of re-reading all my favorite books.  I might introduce a new book to my mind but I love my book-repeat the best because I get the same warm, fuzzy feelings over and over again.  I love sitting outside in my swing and being entertained by my furry friends.  I'll nap a bit and I'll find that my squirrels will also lie in the branches of the tree across from me and nap a little too. Sometimes I read aloud to them.  They seem to enjoy it.
  What a summer comfort.

Thursday, June 5, 2014


Time Traveller

I am a time voyager...I travel almost every day, researching family lines. The past..why do I search? Perhaps it holds truths to the present and future. I wonder about the people that ate off the antique plates and stirred with the spoons that are stored in my cupboards ~I wonder about the lips that have touched the glasses and cups that I use every day~ I strain to listen, hoping to catch a faint ghostly uttering of what was discussed over the mashed potatoes and gravy boat so long ago. I wonder if the creak I hear in this old chair is the same creak my great grandmother heard under her long, black skirt or if she found the tick tock of her old kitchen mantel clock as soothing as I do. I wonder about how it felt to live in that big old farmhouse when it was first built and I realize that nothing in these old trunks smelled musty when they were newly tucked away. It makes me long for the past~ to briefly be in the presence of my ancestors~just for a little while to get the feel of their lives. Did they ever wonder about me? I feel I know them~I stare at their photos, I lie awake at night and imagine them moving about in their daily lives. I search through old photos and hope that I will perhaps someday have a revelation about the identity of the nameless faces that have been kept boxed for over 100 years. Many long hours are spent endlessly researching with cousins and newly found friends as we passionately seek the secrets of our family ties..some things we find we just keep to ourselves...too complicated to tell the others~too hurtful to tell some~relationships too overwhelmingly complex to share in a short email with relatives that just don't have the time to take it all in. And then there are some stories that are just truly myths, but have been so believed for so long that we will never have the heart to dispel. Yes, I travel to the past in my mind.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I was just in the kitchen...preparing pork chops and surprised myself by saying outloud.."I don't want to buy any more presents" and then I felt guilty.. I want to give when I want to give, not just because it's expected of me or if I leave someone out...I feel selfish and lazy. It is often said that it is ONE day, it should be a celebration of Christ's birth, but it starts up in October and doesn't end till the New Year... this hubbub madness of gift giving.  I want to enjoy the sleepiness of the winter like nature does, folding into itself and enjoying an inner calm and nesting in to do meaningful reading and researching genealogy...things that are more difficult when intertwined with spring and summer. I want to enjoy my grown children in their homes and savor their hospitality and listen to their experiences that I haven't gotten to enjoy for so many years.  I want to give them gifts or shop in out of the way places with them on wintry days and then go back to their houses and enjoy a warm meal together.  I want to feel the coziness much more than stride through the throngs of people madly rushing and complaining about how busy and tired they are because they are driven to outdo another Christmas past.

Monday, September 2, 2013

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

This is a person who can't even drive past the hospital without getting the heebeegeebees!  I can't even say the word Hospital~I always call it the Hopsital!
 I had two attacks. On Aug 2 I left work at 12 noon as it was a Friday but right before I left, I drank a cup of tea and then I got this tight band around my upper torso and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to brave it and drove home and KennyRogersBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong, who had the day off and had been running errands, came home about 2pm and was so shocked when I told him I felt like I was having a heart attack or a gall bladder attack and that he needed to Get Ready because when I say it's TIME TO Go to the Emergency Room,, we have to Go! Well, HE had to take a shower and then He had to select the clothes He wanted to wear (do we have to style out to go to the Emergency Room?) and then my niece, Gaby came over and she asked if I had googled my symptoms.  I said no, I've been writhing around too much to sit at the computer  so she googled and she diagnosed that it is a gall bladder attack. So KennyRogersblahblahblah  finally finished his shower and selection of attire and Gaby spied a piece of what she called a fantastic looking cake in the kitchen and asked if she could have some cake..I said yes,she could have some cake but "People, People, please, let's think of it as if a baby is coming...we HAVE to go right NOW!" so KennyRogersblahblah sliced her a piece and then packed up another for her to take home and off we went with me writhing and backseat driving cause KennyR did not stop completely for any stop signs. Arrived there finally at 5pm with my red waste basket from the bathroom cause I had previously thrown up before we left.  NOTE~if you want to get ahead of the line at the ER be sure that you take a flashy waste basket because, believe me, they'll notice you and  they don't want to clean up throw up in the ER waiting room! They immediately put me in a wheelchair and a cute blonde gal triaged me in and told me she liked my red bucket. Turns out later that she was my coworker's  daughter  but I didn't know it at the time. She asked me what the problem was and I told her it was either a heart attack or a gall bladder attack?  She asked me if I had ever had a heart attack and I said no, but that's how they describe it on TV..but my instincts, which are really good you know, vote for gall bladder because I figured I would have been dead from a Heart Attack after 6 hours. They did an EKG and then took me to a nice ER room with a flat screen TV and they gave me morphine (that freaked me a little because I thought they only gave people morphine if they are in Hospice) but it didn't help the pain, and blood work and then an ultrasound.  The dentist that I work for, who is a darling, came over to the ER at midnight and stayed about an hour or so and a doc came in and asked me if I knew I had gall stones...well no, but I suspected so and then they wanted me to stay a little longer to run another blood test for the pancreas and said it was fine. But I was, of course, preparing for the worse at that point when I heard the word pancreas. I said I wanted the gall thang out and my darling boss  said "No, not over the weekend because it would just be residents doing the surgery and they aren't too skilled yet", so they said I could wait and to make an appointment on Monday to see a surgeon. Of course, I put it off because I felt fine the next day but then in two weeks in the middle of Tuesday night the symptoms started again and didn't go away...you know that picture of Jesus holding the flaming heart.? I think it is actually a gall bladder...if I could have seen flames they would have been shooting out of my chest and I swear some alien was in there punching my insides!  So I called the surgeon on Wednesday and made an appointment for Thurs. the 15th and he took one look at me and said yes, we are taking it out tomorrow.  So Friday, slick as a whistle they got me prepped.  I wasn't even a little bit nervous...that is how much I wanted to rid myself of that nasty organ. They wheeled me through those doors and I remember saying "you people like it cold in here don't you?"  They took me to the cutest little operating room and told me it was a pediatric operating room.  It had cutouts on the wall with a branch with a red snake on it and bunnies and butterflies. I made a comment on it and I heard the Anesthesiologist say they like this room because they like to make it 'funner!'  They told me to transfer myself to the table and I looked at them like 'aren't you people supposed to do that?" and I remember saying "this is the skinniest table I have ever seen" and a really pretty nurse said "We like it that way"!   I don't remember a thing after that.  . I woke in the recovery room after a really good sleep when they told me I was all done and I said "OH, what did we do?  I must have missed it!"  Then the memory kicked in. They said they were taking me to my room and I thought I was out patient so I argued a little with the recovery nurse that I hadn't signed up for the ChaChing Overnight Stay, but they explained to me later that the cause of my problem was a little more difficult to maneuver out and they wanted to observe me over night.  Private room, my own bath with shower and H D TV large screen and food brought in like a hotel. I hadn't eaten for 3 days so when they said I could choose from the clear liquid list, you can't believe how good the chicken bouillon soup tasted with the jello.  It was like a lobster and steak dinner! It was really the most wonderful experience Emergency room and operation that I could have possibly had... don't know if I am going to have that warm and fuzzy feeling when the bills come...it may be like an expensive staycation! 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Me and my Mom

I was born in May.  My mother was born in May.  I was born the day after her birthday.  She said she was having champagne and lobster and a big party for her birthday and she whispered to me to wait till the next day when her birthday party was finished.  I did. I waited till 7am the next morning. Now I have expensive food taste and I love parties...probably because my coming out meal had been delicious rich food party style.  I don't know how to order at a fast food restaurant...truly...ask any of my friends.  Other than the rich foods, I am not inclined to the rich side of life.  I'm pretty simple and the older I get the more I realize how old fashioned I am. I am a lot like my mother.  Must be a relative thing connected to our birthdates.