I was just in the kitchen...preparing pork chops and surprised myself by saying outloud.."I don't want to buy any more presents" and then I felt guilty.. I want to give when I want to give, not just because it's expected of me or if I leave someone out...I feel selfish and lazy. It is often said that it is ONE day, it should be a celebration of Christ's birth, but it starts up in October and doesn't end till the New Year... this hubbub madness of gift giving.  I want to enjoy the sleepiness of the winter like nature does, folding into itself and enjoying an inner calm and nesting in to do meaningful reading and researching genealogy...things that are more difficult when intertwined with spring and summer. I want to enjoy my grown children in their homes and savor their hospitality and listen to their experiences that I haven't gotten to enjoy for so many years.  I want to give them gifts or shop in out of the way places with them on wintry days and then go back to their houses and enjoy a warm meal together.  I want to feel the coziness much more than stride through the throngs of people madly rushing and complaining about how busy and tired they are because they are driven to outdo another Christmas past.