How I Spent My Summer Vacation

This is a person who can't even drive past the hospital without getting the heebeegeebees!  I can't even say the word Hospital~I always call it the Hopsital!
 I had two attacks. On Aug 2 I left work at 12 noon as it was a Friday but right before I left, I drank a cup of tea and then I got this tight band around my upper torso and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to brave it and drove home and KennyRogersBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong, who had the day off and had been running errands, came home about 2pm and was so shocked when I told him I felt like I was having a heart attack or a gall bladder attack and that he needed to Get Ready because when I say it's TIME TO Go to the Emergency Room,, we have to Go! Well, HE had to take a shower and then He had to select the clothes He wanted to wear (do we have to style out to go to the Emergency Room?) and then my niece, Gaby came over and she asked if I had googled my symptoms.  I said no, I've been writhing around too much to sit at the computer  so she googled and she diagnosed that it is a gall bladder attack. So KennyRogersblahblahblah  finally finished his shower and selection of attire and Gaby spied a piece of what she called a fantastic looking cake in the kitchen and asked if she could have some cake..I said yes,she could have some cake but "People, People, please, let's think of it as if a baby is coming...we HAVE to go right NOW!" so KennyRogersblahblah sliced her a piece and then packed up another for her to take home and off we went with me writhing and backseat driving cause KennyR did not stop completely for any stop signs. Arrived there finally at 5pm with my red waste basket from the bathroom cause I had previously thrown up before we left.  NOTE~if you want to get ahead of the line at the ER be sure that you take a flashy waste basket because, believe me, they'll notice you and  they don't want to clean up throw up in the ER waiting room! They immediately put me in a wheelchair and a cute blonde gal triaged me in and told me she liked my red bucket. Turns out later that she was my coworker's  daughter  but I didn't know it at the time. She asked me what the problem was and I told her it was either a heart attack or a gall bladder attack?  She asked me if I had ever had a heart attack and I said no, but that's how they describe it on TV..but my instincts, which are really good you know, vote for gall bladder because I figured I would have been dead from a Heart Attack after 6 hours. They did an EKG and then took me to a nice ER room with a flat screen TV and they gave me morphine (that freaked me a little because I thought they only gave people morphine if they are in Hospice) but it didn't help the pain, and blood work and then an ultrasound.  The dentist that I work for, who is a darling, came over to the ER at midnight and stayed about an hour or so and a doc came in and asked me if I knew I had gall stones...well no, but I suspected so and then they wanted me to stay a little longer to run another blood test for the pancreas and said it was fine. But I was, of course, preparing for the worse at that point when I heard the word pancreas. I said I wanted the gall thang out and my darling boss  said "No, not over the weekend because it would just be residents doing the surgery and they aren't too skilled yet", so they said I could wait and to make an appointment on Monday to see a surgeon. Of course, I put it off because I felt fine the next day but then in two weeks in the middle of Tuesday night the symptoms started again and didn't go away...you know that picture of Jesus holding the flaming heart.? I think it is actually a gall bladder...if I could have seen flames they would have been shooting out of my chest and I swear some alien was in there punching my insides!  So I called the surgeon on Wednesday and made an appointment for Thurs. the 15th and he took one look at me and said yes, we are taking it out tomorrow.  So Friday, slick as a whistle they got me prepped.  I wasn't even a little bit nervous...that is how much I wanted to rid myself of that nasty organ. They wheeled me through those doors and I remember saying "you people like it cold in here don't you?"  They took me to the cutest little operating room and told me it was a pediatric operating room.  It had cutouts on the wall with a branch with a red snake on it and bunnies and butterflies. I made a comment on it and I heard the Anesthesiologist say they like this room because they like to make it 'funner!'  They told me to transfer myself to the table and I looked at them like 'aren't you people supposed to do that?" and I remember saying "this is the skinniest table I have ever seen" and a really pretty nurse said "We like it that way"!   I don't remember a thing after that.  . I woke in the recovery room after a really good sleep when they told me I was all done and I said "OH, what did we do?  I must have missed it!"  Then the memory kicked in. They said they were taking me to my room and I thought I was out patient so I argued a little with the recovery nurse that I hadn't signed up for the ChaChing Overnight Stay, but they explained to me later that the cause of my problem was a little more difficult to maneuver out and they wanted to observe me over night.  Private room, my own bath with shower and H D TV large screen and food brought in like a hotel. I hadn't eaten for 3 days so when they said I could choose from the clear liquid list, you can't believe how good the chicken bouillon soup tasted with the jello.  It was like a lobster and steak dinner! It was really the most wonderful experience Emergency room and operation that I could have possibly had... don't know if I am going to have that warm and fuzzy feeling when the bills come...it may be like an expensive staycation!