I was just in the kitchen...preparing pork chops and surprised myself by saying outloud.."I don't want to buy any more presents" and then I felt guilty.. I want to give when I want to give, not just because it's expected of me or if I leave someone out...I feel selfish and lazy. It is often said that it is ONE day, it should be a celebration of Christ's birth, but it starts up in October and doesn't end till the New Year... this hubbub madness of gift giving.  I want to enjoy the sleepiness of the winter like nature does, folding into itself and enjoying an inner calm and nesting in to do meaningful reading and researching genealogy...things that are more difficult when intertwined with spring and summer. I want to enjoy my grown children in their homes and savor their hospitality and listen to their experiences that I haven't gotten to enjoy for so many years.  I want to give them gifts or shop in out of the way places with them on wintry days and then go back to their houses and enjoy a warm meal together.  I want to feel the coziness much more than stride through the throngs of people madly rushing and complaining about how busy and tired they are because they are driven to outdo another Christmas past.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

This is a person who can't even drive past the hospital without getting the heebeegeebees!  I can't even say the word Hospital~I always call it the Hopsital!
 I had two attacks. On Aug 2 I left work at 12 noon as it was a Friday but right before I left, I drank a cup of tea and then I got this tight band around my upper torso and it wouldn't go away. So I decided to brave it and drove home and KennyRogersBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong, who had the day off and had been running errands, came home about 2pm and was so shocked when I told him I felt like I was having a heart attack or a gall bladder attack and that he needed to Get Ready because when I say it's TIME TO Go to the Emergency Room,, we have to Go! Well, HE had to take a shower and then He had to select the clothes He wanted to wear (do we have to style out to go to the Emergency Room?) and then my niece, Gaby came over and she asked if I had googled my symptoms.  I said no, I've been writhing around too much to sit at the computer  so she googled and she diagnosed that it is a gall bladder attack. So KennyRogersblahblahblah  finally finished his shower and selection of attire and Gaby spied a piece of what she called a fantastic looking cake in the kitchen and asked if she could have some cake..I said yes,she could have some cake but "People, People, please, let's think of it as if a baby is coming...we HAVE to go right NOW!" so KennyRogersblahblah sliced her a piece and then packed up another for her to take home and off we went with me writhing and backseat driving cause KennyR did not stop completely for any stop signs. Arrived there finally at 5pm with my red waste basket from the bathroom cause I had previously thrown up before we left.  NOTE~if you want to get ahead of the line at the ER be sure that you take a flashy waste basket because, believe me, they'll notice you and  they don't want to clean up throw up in the ER waiting room! They immediately put me in a wheelchair and a cute blonde gal triaged me in and told me she liked my red bucket. Turns out later that she was my coworker's  daughter  but I didn't know it at the time. She asked me what the problem was and I told her it was either a heart attack or a gall bladder attack?  She asked me if I had ever had a heart attack and I said no, but that's how they describe it on TV..but my instincts, which are really good you know, vote for gall bladder because I figured I would have been dead from a Heart Attack after 6 hours. They did an EKG and then took me to a nice ER room with a flat screen TV and they gave me morphine (that freaked me a little because I thought they only gave people morphine if they are in Hospice) but it didn't help the pain, and blood work and then an ultrasound.  The dentist that I work for, who is a darling, came over to the ER at midnight and stayed about an hour or so and a doc came in and asked me if I knew I had gall stones...well no, but I suspected so and then they wanted me to stay a little longer to run another blood test for the pancreas and said it was fine. But I was, of course, preparing for the worse at that point when I heard the word pancreas. I said I wanted the gall thang out and my darling boss  said "No, not over the weekend because it would just be residents doing the surgery and they aren't too skilled yet", so they said I could wait and to make an appointment on Monday to see a surgeon. Of course, I put it off because I felt fine the next day but then in two weeks in the middle of Tuesday night the symptoms started again and didn't go away...you know that picture of Jesus holding the flaming heart.? I think it is actually a gall bladder...if I could have seen flames they would have been shooting out of my chest and I swear some alien was in there punching my insides!  So I called the surgeon on Wednesday and made an appointment for Thurs. the 15th and he took one look at me and said yes, we are taking it out tomorrow.  So Friday, slick as a whistle they got me prepped.  I wasn't even a little bit nervous...that is how much I wanted to rid myself of that nasty organ. They wheeled me through those doors and I remember saying "you people like it cold in here don't you?"  They took me to the cutest little operating room and told me it was a pediatric operating room.  It had cutouts on the wall with a branch with a red snake on it and bunnies and butterflies. I made a comment on it and I heard the Anesthesiologist say they like this room because they like to make it 'funner!'  They told me to transfer myself to the table and I looked at them like 'aren't you people supposed to do that?" and I remember saying "this is the skinniest table I have ever seen" and a really pretty nurse said "We like it that way"!   I don't remember a thing after that.  . I woke in the recovery room after a really good sleep when they told me I was all done and I said "OH, what did we do?  I must have missed it!"  Then the memory kicked in. They said they were taking me to my room and I thought I was out patient so I argued a little with the recovery nurse that I hadn't signed up for the ChaChing Overnight Stay, but they explained to me later that the cause of my problem was a little more difficult to maneuver out and they wanted to observe me over night.  Private room, my own bath with shower and H D TV large screen and food brought in like a hotel. I hadn't eaten for 3 days so when they said I could choose from the clear liquid list, you can't believe how good the chicken bouillon soup tasted with the jello.  It was like a lobster and steak dinner! It was really the most wonderful experience Emergency room and operation that I could have possibly had... don't know if I am going to have that warm and fuzzy feeling when the bills come...it may be like an expensive staycation! 

Me and my Mom

I was born in May.  My mother was born in May.  I was born the day after her birthday.  She said she was having champagne and lobster and a big party for her birthday and she whispered to me to wait till the next day when her birthday party was finished.  I did. I waited till 7am the next morning. Now I have expensive food taste and I love parties...probably because my coming out meal had been delicious rich food party style.  I don't know how to order at a fast food restaurant...truly...ask any of my friends.  Other than the rich foods, I am not inclined to the rich side of life.  I'm pretty simple and the older I get the more I realize how old fashioned I am. I am a lot like my mother.  Must be a relative thing connected to our birthdates.

Take a Trip with Us

Much anticipated trip across the US...2000 miles to Portland, Oregon to see our little Full Moon Maiden Baby Zee 10 days ago.  Wonderful trip...great flights, great weather for this time of year there and nothing to do except to relax and gaze at 2 week old Zee.
As the grandmother and grandfather, we are expected to help the mommy... to make things calm and comforting.  PARTS of some days were calm....hmumph....I'll explain..
On the first night, Grampi KennyRogersLookAlikeBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong decided to get a midnight drink of water from the fridge, so he came out of the bathroom and CRASH.. forgot there was a step down...and of course just about went down but caught himself on an armoire in the hallway.  He made it downstairs while the mommy and daddy and Zee and I were upstairs sleeping...well, I was...I don't think the mommy and daddy and Zee ever slept. I had just turned over and ...CRASH!!!!  It was another awful sound.  I thought Kennyblahblah, had fallen over the coffee table.  The Daddy, being tall and a speed skater moved down the stairs at lightning speed..could have won a blue ribbon for that ....and found that the shelf in the fridge door fell out and contents went everywhere.  Kennyblahblah was found alright though a little startled...well, a lot startled, actually.  Ok, got that mess cleaned up and we went back to sleep and mommy and daddy and Zee continued to do what they do at night...hold baby Zee while she nurses and change diapers.
The next evening it was my job to prepare the supper...two red pepper and feta quiches..ok easy enough,  I can do that...well, doubling the recipe isn't the easiest thing for me to do and I was trying really hard to follow the recipe spot on..too runny and I should have made three but I didn't and I put them on a cookie sheet and of course when the cookie sheet gets warm it flips up on one side and out spilled some egg mixture..ew...that burns and it doesn't smell good so I opened the oven up and decided to try to remove the quiches to another cookie sheet...well, that wasn't the easiest thing to maneuver but I did it ....thick smoke went everywhere then the smoke alarm started going and lo and behold, Daddy had just arrived home from work and skated into the kitchen with an alarmed face and flipped on the range fan and swiftly glided to the smoke alarm button to stop the piercing sound and Baby Zee just nurses along.  After all that we had to cook them longer....I should have just made them like I do at home....SOOO, I caused the catastrophe that evening.
Next evening, Daddy decided to throw the old flowers out that he had gotten mommy and was carrying the big beautiful fish bowl of a vase across the room and must have tripped or something.   I was upstairs again and Baby Zee was eating again.... another big  CRASH!  I prayed...please God don't let it be Grampi Kennyblahblah again! We spent the next hour cleaning up water and glass while Daddy was dispatched to get some Mediterraean food. So Daddy was responsible for that catastrophe that night.
Next couple of days went fairly calmly...only burned the toast a couple of mornings setting off that darn smoke alarm.  I got used to the burn taste.
Night before we left we were having yummy tea in the baby's room before retiring for the night and thinking how calm things have been.  Don't ever think a thought because it can bite you in the butt.  Kennyblahblah went down the stairs to take his cup and lo and behold....another big CRASH!  He missed the bottom step and twirled around and caught...mind you, caught! a big bell jar terrarium in his arms...he went down, but the bell jar didn't!  The Bell Jar was sitting in a window niche on the left side of the stair case.  How in the world did he twirl around enough to get his arm up there and grasp that terrarium??  Daddy helped him up and we put him to bed!
Our last morning...I got up and dressed and took the sheets off the bed and put them in the washer.  Went back upstairs and noticed the toilet seemed like it was going to overflow..nope..thank goodness..it went down.  Mommy and Zee came down for breakfast and we chatted and I went back down to the basement to dry the sheets.  Hmmmmm, I don't remember seeing water all over the floor when I came down here about a half an hour ago...Could somebody come down here?  Mommy and Kennyblahblah came down.  Oh my.  Phone call to Daddy at work.  Daddy had to come home a couple hours earlier than  he was going to that morning.  He went to work early so he could come back home and take us to the airport by 1pm.  So Daddy stayed home and had the City come out to verify nothing was wrong with the water main at the street.  They said he needed a sewer scoper.  Well, we didn't have time to hang around for the sewer scoper.  The scoper had to be arranged for another day.  Kennyblahblah and Daddy sopped up the water and dried the sheets.
The DREADED GOODBYE went much smoother than I had anticipated.  I had anticipated a big cryin' jag with a fall to my knees and a crawl to the car...but because Zee was crying and ready to eat..it made it much easier on all of us.  We quickly ran out the door as it started hailing on us and we drove to the airport in the rain.
All was calm in the airplane ..our tickets came with a free new release movie and the airline attendant came by and swiped her complimentary credit card so we could watch.  With the roar of the engine I couldn't hear what she said and I goofed it up and disengaged the movie.  She had to come back to our row and help us two times till we could understand how to use the buttons on the armrest.  She gave me the evil eye with the eyebrow raised.   Midway through enjoying the movie,  I decided to recline my seat.  I kept pushing on the button but nothing was happening.  I glanced over at the man seated next to me and wondered why in the world is he rocking in his seat?  Is he going to get catatonic on me?   He grumpily said..'you are repeatedly reclining MY seat."       Owhhhh.

So here we are back home and missing our family and wondering if they are missing all our mishaps.  Daddy's parents came from The Netherlands the day after we left.  They will probably restore the calm although, Daddy's mother broke her right wrist  the week before their flight to America and has a cast up past the elbow....we'll see what the next chapter brings.

The Full Moon Maiden Poem

This sweet little moon maiden arrived during the day of the full moon, February 25, TwoZeroOneThree.
Her name is Amelia Zee.  Her daddy selected her name and he and her mommy agree.... they will call her Zee.  The Dutch word for 'the sea'...appropriate for a little Pisces, aren't you, Little Zee?
Some one very dear wrote a special little story about her and a bunting and a kitty and me.  Want to see?  http://hettiebrown.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/a-tale-of-tuesday.html

For all us 'Word People"

God bless Mrs. Harvey...she stayed wth me after school to help me with algebra 2x a week.  She watched me do the problems..she watched me get the answers, but never, never could I ever do the problem the same way or be able to explain how I got to the answer. She couldn't figure it out but she saw it with her own eyes.  She passed me from the class with a D with a red minus.  She didn't want me to fail.
 I think perhaps I may be a genius and no one could recognize it.  Just goes to show that I could solve the problems in my own way if let to do so.  I do not think in the mainstream!

Wise Woman Diet

I had a dream last nite that I was in my friend's back yard and we were lounging in the sun.  Another friend of ours that we hadn't seen for a few months stopped by and we were discussing  life.. you know, all the details of how we came to be with our partners and how we came to be without them. It was sort of an emotional lament on all our parts.  She then jumped up, saying she had to go home and her floppy big, oversized shirt fluttered away from her body and I could see that she had lost a lot of weight.  As she was walking away I commented on the weight loss.  I asked her what diet she used.  She shouted back over her shoulder as she was walking...."I looked in the Mirror"!

Men,Tires and 20/20

Is this the week of the full moon?  I have a feeling it is, but I haven't really been paying much attention to it.  I bet it is though, sifting through the memories of the days of this week prior to today. 
Monday wasn't too bad but actually I really can't remember it.  Tuesday was incredibly B A D...starting off at 6:30am.  I am supposed to be at work at the dental office at 6:30am on Tuesday and what am I doing at 6:26am on Tuesday?  Doddling along~setting peanuts out for my squirrels, washing up the breakfast dishes, making the bed thinking I am doing good with the timing of things today..thinking about the next two days morning routines, which are Wednesday and Thursday when I am going to take KennyRogersLookAlikeBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong to the eye cataract surgeon for his appointments at 7am.
  SUDDENLY I remembered I am supposed to be a work at 6:30am not just leaving the house.  KennyRogersetc said  "I wondered what you were doing, but be sure to let the car warm up before you take off cause it's only 6 degrees."  Well, I kept saying to myself, what is the matter with my brain?  I know I am always at work by 6:30am on Tuesdays. I think this eye surgery is bothering my mind more than I knew. ..So, of course,  I didn't have time to let the car warm up, I just took off. 
The car sounded kinda funny and drove kinda funny but I just kept going down the street slowly so that the fluids would warm up as we chugged along.  I pulled out on the main road and then knew that something was really wrong as the car would barely go.  I stopped in a parking lot and got out and walked around the car.  Aughhh! the tires had been getting low because of the cold weather snap but the front right tire was really flat.  uh oh.  I called KennyRogersetc and he said you are going to have to nurse it to the auto shop up the street.  So I did.  Going very chuggy and slow and all the other cars were very impatient with me in the dark and they passed me..but that was ok.  He had told me to go to one particular auto shop, but they were closed of course at 6:35am and the auto shop across the street had some lights on in the garage area so I barely got the Full Monte (Chevy Monte Carlo is the make of my car) limped into the parking lot and pulled up in front of the garage area.  There was an old bent over man in there with some overalls on sweeping the floor.  He barely looked up and his scratchy voice muttered "I'm the janitor and they ain't open till 8am."  I told him my tire is flat and actually when I then looked down, I saw the rubber tire laying on the ground like melted tar off the rim.  He looked thru the murky glass, swung his arm and said "Well you can't leave it in front of the door you're gonna have to park it somewhere" and off he went all bent over and sweeping.  That wasn't pleasant but I parked it and left it running so I wouldn't freeze to death till 8am. 

I called KennyRogersetc and told him or I think I told him that the rubber tire was off the rim but he said I never did say that and he assumed it was my right rear tire that was really low.  Well, it was the front right and it was really low alright.  I thought  "what do I do?"  I tried to call him back to tell him where I was but my cell phone wasn't charged up any longer.  I felt like a homeless person!  What do you do or where do you go at 6:30am when no one is around and businesses don't open till 8am or 10am and you don't have a phone to get help and some old crotchety man won't help a poor woman in this day and age?  What if I have to go to the bathroom?  There's no where to go!  What do homeless people do when they have to go to the bathroom?   I couldn't walk anywhere in this cold freeze and panic was starting to set in.  I had to wait and wait and finally the owners of the auto shop came to work and at 7:50am turned the Closed sign over to Open.  I flew out of the car into the door and the woman just stared at me.  I said, 'I would like to be your first customer' and she just looked a little bothered. She took my name and my address and make of the car and my keys and went to talk to her husband who was even less 'personalitied' as her (I made that word up).  He went out and looked at it and then came back in.  Meanwhile KennyRogersetc found me, drove up~ he's not supposed to drive in the dark with his cataracts so bad,  and asked the lady if she had an air hose to pump up the tire.  She said yes and he asked if it was inside and she said yes but we will pump it up in the garage area.  He said ' I can pump it up out here in the parking lot, I just need to know if it will reach' and she and I both looked puzzled.  He just looked mad at us.  I said "they can't pump it up because it is off the rim."  He said 'it's not off the rim it's just low."  I said "it is laying on the ground, they are going to take off the tire and see if it can be fixed."  He looked puzzled, so I walked over to the car with him and showed him.  "See it's off the rim."  He mumbled frustratingly that I never told him it was the front tire.  Besides, he can't see clearly because of his cataracts that he is scheduled to get  out on Wednesday and Thursday.  I assured him that I was just fine and he should just go back home and that this personality-less man is going to fix the tire or put the spare on. The man put the spare tire on and threw the other one in the trunk after he told me that my car's presence was going to mess up his auto mechanic schedule. I can see now why KennyRogers etc. told me to go to the nice auto shop across the street...the nice auto shop is going to put 2 new tires on for me and they are happy to do business and told me to come by any time and they will open up and air my tires for me if they get low. The eye surgery went great and now KennyRogersLookAlikeBeforeThePlasticSurgeryWentWrong can see with 20/20 vision!  Remarkable, although, this might present a problem for me.  He says he can see all the lines in both of our faces that he never saw before and he is noticing dust on everthing!  I caught him cleaning when he should be resting!